Razor
by Gregory Dolnand
Summary: A razor when someone is bored can be dangerous...
1. Chapter 1

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_Title_: **Razor**

_Rating_: K+

_Pairing_: No pairing

_Summary_: oneshot A razor when someone is bored could be dangerous...

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**Razor**

It's been a year.

We're traveling to the West in order to stop the resurrection of Gyumaoh and to retrieve the Maten Scripture. We've been traveling through mountains, rivers, towns. We've been walking under freezing snow storm or burning heat of the sun. We've been fighting many many maddened youkais who dare to stand on our way. Even Kougaiji-tachi tastes failure against us. All these things earn us a nickname, a rather funny one: "Invincible Sanzo-ikkou". And time keeps flowing away...

Now I don't want to continue the journey anymore. I don't want to hurt my back by sitting in the driver seat for hours. I don't want to share room with anyone. I don't want to cook or eat white stew for five days a week. I don't want to witness any ruckus. I don't want to fight crazed youkais.

So many "I don't want" and you'll surely ask me why. Am I a coward, running away from something I could have been achieved?

I don't want to live like this. Just let my lifeless body somewhere peaceful, and I'll be thankful to you.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I take my fake eye out and look in a mirror. If it's a black hole...

A black hole, like my life.

My mind is decaying.

Dying... is not so bad, right? You don't see anymore, don't eat anymore, especially you don't feel anything anymore. To die is even simpler. I don't know why people scream after being stabbed or shot. It's not pain and if it was, you were no longer alive to experience it.

I always keep a razor in my pocket. I keep it for many reasons: hair shaving, paper cut... A razor cannot take away a life immediately, but can put an end for a certain life.

If a razor is plunged into a wrist...

Blood is certainly the first thing to ooze out. Blood carries happiness, sin, madness out from human. Sometimes, pride. Pain is not included here ; when you cut yourself with a razor, it's just like somebody pinches you, and when blood flows out too much, you fall into unconsciousness. Like I said, you'll know nothing. And feel nothing.

If this razor is plunged into my wrist...

The cold, sharp razor-blade touches my skin, softly cut it a bit, just enough to draw a drop of blood. Surprisingly, I find it interesting. Then I continue to cut my flesh, cut it deep, until seeing a small stream of blood. My blood...

My blood is stained...

It isn't red like common blood. It is dark red, as if it was stained with mud.

My blood is stained...

Why still I keep it in my body...

Let it flow away...

Purify me, for God's sake...

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A/U: I know this is kind of weird and Hakkai was out of mind, but please accept it. And reviews are appreciated, too.


	2. Chapter 2

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_Title_: **Razor**

_Rating_: K+

_Pairing_: No pairing

_Summary_: oneshot A razor when someone is bored could be dangerous...

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**Chapter 02**

When we found Hakkai, it was too late. He lost too much blood. He was leaning against a dead tree, hands laid on its dried roots. A razor sparkled between the fingers. He was smiling. Smiling to me. Smiling to Sanzo and Goku. Smiling to the darkened sky. Smiling... so happily.

I brought his body back to the tents where we were camping. With a merely audible voice, Sanzo told me to bury Hakkai somewhere worthy. Goku didn't say anything.

I buried Hakkai on a small valley near the forest. He will be happy there, with pure air, flowers and butterflies.

And so, the journey is set up again.

Now that our driver is gone, I replace him. The monk doesn't complain about sitting beside me. Those deep amethyst eyes are just gazing somewhere, as if they were trying to find an end. The monkey stops bickering about his bottomless stomach. Everything changes.

I'm still wondering...

That afternoon, I noticed that Hakkai's eyes were duller than usual, and he seemed not to concentrate. He kept checking his pocket as if he hid something very important. I did ask him but couldn't get a word from him.

I had already know that something wasn't right, that Hakkai was going to do something really frustrating. Why didn't I stop him?

If only Hakkai was here, I would've had him beaten by myself. I would've had him being my cook for the rest of his life. I would've messed up my house really badly then made him clean until no dust could've been found. I...

Goddamn it, since when have I gotten so childish?

Tears are so salty...

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